The Testament

In the beginning, there was lag.
And the players cried,
"Why hast thou forsaken the server?"

but lo, from the void, Shotrush appeared,
and it was dih

Yet the people rejoiced,
For they knew not better

And the devs said,
"Let there be updates"
And there were none

The bugs multiplied,
Like fish and bread,
But cursed.
The ping was like the tower of Babel.

And on the seventh ragequit,
They rested.

The queue times were eternal,
And the matchmaking, divine punishment.
And yet, they returned - because dopamine.

Blessed are the cracked,
For they shall carry.

The server shall crash without warning.
And the trial shall not be counted.
Thus ends the prophecy. Amen.

Go in lag and may your shots register.

transcribed by Builder127